January,I made a promise with myself to become a better person, but I failed to do it!
Feburary, My birthday, super disappointed!
March and April, a stranger came into my heart, and refused to leave
May, had a fight with someone I treated as my sister and in a cold war with her until now
June, Summer school started, the stranger was leaving but I refused to let's him go
July, I broke up with my first boyfriend for a month, how many tear did I cry?
A friend I thought understood me the best said to me that I was a worst friend ever. No choice but to let's her go, it useless to wish for her to understand me, when she already judged me and found me guilty. I need to grew up and fought for myself, when I did nothing wrong.
when July almost ended, I was back with him. What could I do when he was always with me, I asked him to be friend and looked for someone else better than me. I hurt him more than I thought. He was just silently accepted it. How could I hurt someone who was always with me, who brought me smile and filled in my empty heart, who brought me back when I lost my way. I was not a devil and I was back to his open arms.
August, back to school. I met with her, the one I treated as a real sister, but I didn't want to look in her face...because..what kind of expression could I make when I met her eyes. Well, I knew that it was partly my fault but she was the one pick a fight first.
September, Bf's older sister told him to make me talk to her, but..why? gave me a good reason why should I? He was just my boyfriend, he wasn't not my fiancee, he was not my husband, he didn't ask me to marry him, then why should I please his family? I was really pissed off. Then I asked why did she think/talk about me, he said that I acted like a bitch.Was it wrong to hold my head high in front of someone I had a fight with? I didn't think so.
October, first time being a bride maid, I had so much fun, took a lot of picture, I was super tired but wel...talked about coincident, my friend T was an acquaintance with my mother's boyfriend. Nice! she was a very cool girl. When I was in high shcool, I thought of her as a bad girl, luckily I didn't do anything that I would regret. We've been good friend since then.
November, I had been in a slippery situation, I became so lazy and sick. My friend D. would move away. I actually was glad that she decided to move to Texas, because California brought her also sadness and unlucky events. I hoped that to a new place, her life would start as fresh as a new bloom flower.
I went to Pechanga casino, first time went there. It was a music event and I got the ticker from my mother's boyfriend's family.
December, a fun Christmas at my mother's boyfriend's family house, I had so much food to eat, gained more pound. I started to open an Esty, an online shop to sell my handmade things, but I didn't see it goes so well.....Still hoping that a New year came, it would become better.
There were still a lot of events I couldn't remember or couldn't bring them into words, but so far, that is the end of my 2011, I still am the same person as last year, still unchangable, still lazy. What will become of my life? Will I be able to change? Will I be able to forgive? It is still a question with an unknow answer!